I don't want to go back to school. It's too much. The marks, the professors, the atmosphere and late nights - it's all a constant reminder that I haven't been up to par with what my expectations are of myself. I wish there was a universal remote to my life, and with the click of a button, I could pause the world so that maybe for just one second, I'd be able to breathe for once in this chatoic microcosm we call university. I may have written something like this before, but I can't emphasize how strongly I feel about this. I feel as if I'm another person when I go back. I'm constantly sleepy, I work my butt off, and the payoff is nothing. I'm constantly pushing myself harder and harder every time I fall. Sometimes I wonder if all the effort I'm putting into getting better marks is summing up to a more gracious outcome, or is it simply lost, like short-term memories, into a long dwindling void of wasted strife? I wish I could just conjure up a decent mark - one that will get me into Med. School. I know I can do it - the question is how?